Surprise! Beyoncé has a new album. Bigger surprise -- it's great!

Don't be surprised that a new Beyoncé album just fell out of the stars without warning. Be surprised that it's the splashiest cannonball of her career. Be surprised that it's quirky, and candid, and weird, and raunchy, and so many other things that Beyoncé has never been. Be surprised that she uses "Monica Lewinsky" as a verb. Be surprised that it's great.